Posted in depression, mental illness

The Thief

Depression is a thief.

I haven’t written about depression in a long time.  The reason I haven’t written about it is because I’m NOT depressed.  But with depression being swept under the rug or shrugged off by most of society, I feel that it’s important to write about it.  The subject needs to come out of the shadows.

I am feeling better mentally, than I have in more years than I can recall.  Life in general for me is wonderful.  I’m incredibly blessed.

What brought me back around to the subject of depression is realizing how much of my life was stolen from me by depression.  There were years that, although I functioned and went though the motions of day to day life, inside I was in a very dark and dismal place.  There was little in life that truly brought me joy.

Don’t get me wrong, there were times of happiness. Most of the time, I was simply putting on a brave face, just so I could manage to “act normal”.  Heaven forbid anyone find out I was depressed!!

There has always been such a stigma attached to depression.  There is NO shame in this disease.  It simply takes over.  YOU are not to blame.

Most people that suffer from depression go in and out of depression their entire lives.  That is how it has affected me.

Right now, I am having such clarity (it’s the only way I can describe it) in my way of thinking.   It’s wonderful.  I can see the positive.  I can feel the joy.  Of course life continues to have it’s normal ups and downs, but I’m not in that deep, dark pit that so often in my past had consumed my life!

The clarity I’m experiencing makes me realize how horribly depression robbed me of the simple joys in life.  One of the terrible things about depression is that it creeps into your life on it’s belly.  It sneaks under the fences of reason.  It hides in the corners and slithers around reality.

Before you know it, depression has it’s talons around your neck and it’s squeezing the very life from you.  You wake up one day in this pit of blackness and despair that you cannot shake.  You don’t see it coming and you don’t know when it will strike.

I thank The Powers That Be that I am feeling as good as I am.  I don’t ever want to take this feeling for granted.  I want to cling to it, to savor it.

I don’t know how long I will continue to feel this way.  It may be the rest of my life!  Or I could wake up one day next year and find myself looking up from the bottom of that black pit of despair.  Right now, I am grateful that I feel as good as I do and that Thief, depression, has not stolen this part of my life from me!

Copyright (C) 2017 Penny Wilson

Author:

Penny Wilson is a freelance writer who writes in several genres. She has written articles for WOW Women on Writing. Her poetry has been published in online journals, such as Ariel Chart, Spill Words Press and the Poppy Road Review. Penny is a member of the Austin Poetry Society. Her poetry has been featured in the publication America's Emerging Poets 2018 & 2019 by Z Publishing and Poets Quarterly and Dual Coast Magazine published by Prolific Press. Penny is an advocate for Mental Health Awareness and has the page "Mental Health Help" on her blog. She writes about the struggles of mental illnesses and Depression. She is passionate about spreading awareness for Suicide Prevention and Domestic Abuse. She expresses her passion through her writings of poetry and life experiences. You can find more of her writings on her blog at https://pennywilsonwrites.com/ and follow her on Twitter @pennywilson123.

30 thoughts on “The Thief

  1. Thank you so much for this very helpful and honest post, Penny. I can totally identify with it, and reading all the comments and replies that your readers have left makes me feel slightly less alone with my current depression. I’ve had mental health issues for many years and have been in and out of the now lacking mental health services. It’s not their fault, really, but there’s just so much demand for their help. I’ve been waiting six months for an appointment and have heard nothing so far. I also have awful anxiety, an eating disorder and complex PTSD. The latter is the hardest to deal with, especially as I’m currently undergoing intense therapy. I don’t share my pain with anyone in my day-to-day life for fear of overwhelming and worrying my friends and family. I have my much-appreciated therapist, but due to lack of funding, this will end on the 21st of December. Way too soon for me to have dealt with everything. I do, however, share my feelings and thoughts on my blog. Often the thoughts are very dark and troubled, but it really does help to share how I’m feeling and what I’m going through. I can’t tell you how grateful I am to my WordPress family. They have been a constant support to me, and I am very blessed to know them all. I apologise for the length of my comment. It’s just that this post resonated with me so much. Thank you again for sharing. P.S. I don’t know whether you would be interested in sharing a helpline number for people in the UK; there are many but the Samaritans are there 24/7 every day of the year. Although they’re not medical specialists, they are wonderful listeners. Their number is 116 123. Many thanks, Ellie X 💜

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    1. I’m so glad that this post touched you. It makes me think that maybe I should be reblogging some of my older pieces on Mental Health. I’m so sorry that you are dealing with so much.
      I will be happy to add the UK help line! The number is 116123? Just like that?
      More later, in an email.
      Hugs!
      Penny ❤

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      1. Thank you for your very kind and supportive words, Penny. I think it would be great to re-publish some of your mental health posts, especially as so many people are struggling with not only their own issues but also the current affairs of the world, as you spoke about in your other post I read. The Samaritans Helpline number when dialled from the UK is simply 116123 (no prefix). Thanks in advance for adding it to your other helpful numbers.Ellie X 💛

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  2. I’ve suffered depression for the last few years. Being diagnosed with epilepsy and dealing with the drug side effects just kept me down in that hole. I never sugar coated it. I told people how if I felt, if they asked. The only way to reduce the stigma is to be upfront about it. I told people I was seeing a psychologist and neuropsychiatrist. I was put in an outpatient program that was just one step away from being hospitalized. I wasn’t suicidal, but it was bad. I’m starting to get my life together and learn how to live in my new epileptic reality. I still fall in the pit sometimes, but I know there will be a ladder there eventually and that makes all the difference. This post will mean a lot to people who suffer from our disease. It means a lot to me. I am so happy that you are in a good place and I hope you stay there forever. Hugs, my friend!

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  3. Back in 2008 when I was diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis, Fibro, and Epilepsy I became depressed; so I can understand. It took me over two years and lots of prayer to feel better. I honestly don’t know if one ever gets over depression. I still have my down days. I hope you have a Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year.

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      1. It’s OK. I’ve learned that family members are affected as much as the one who has it. He’s 42 now, on meds which help control it. Has a good job and functions OK with the usual ups and downs. Thank you for caring.

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  4. How true the words, and how well written.

    I still feel the stigma of depression, in that I can’t share it with just anyone. And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “You just have to get over it,”.

    I wish you clarity in perpetuity, and all good things.

    Peace

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  5. Great post. A marvellous example that somebody can come out of depression the other side to live a fulfilling life again. I suffered depression many many years ago and got through, i am currently battling again as you know on top of an ED. I just hope that i can break through again……………………

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