Depression is a thief.
I haven’t written about depression in a long time. The reason I haven’t written about it is because I’m NOT depressed. But with depression being swept under the rug or shrugged off by most of society, I feel that it’s important to write about it. The subject needs to come out of the shadows.
I am feeling better mentally, than I have in more years than I can recall. Life in general for me is wonderful. I’m incredibly blessed.
What brought me back around to the subject of depression is realizing how much of my life was stolen from me by depression. There were years that, although I functioned and went though the motions of day to day life, inside I was in a very dark and dismal place. There was little in life that truly brought me joy.
Don’t get me wrong, there were times of happiness. Most of the time, I was simply putting on a brave face, just so I could manage to “act normal”. Heaven forbid anyone find out I was depressed!!
There has always been such a stigma attached to depression. There is NO shame in this disease. It simply takes over. YOU are not to blame.
Most people that suffer from depression go in and out of depression their entire lives. That is how it has affected me.
Right now, I am having such clarity (it’s the only way I can describe it) in my way of thinking. It’s wonderful. I can see the positive. I can feel the joy. Of course life continues to have it’s normal ups and downs, but I’m not in that deep, dark pit that so often in my past had consumed my life!
The clarity I’m experiencing makes me realize how horribly depression robbed me of the simple joys in life. One of the terrible things about depression is that it creeps into your life on it’s belly. It sneaks under the fences of reason. It hides in the corners and slithers around reality.
Before you know it, depression has it’s talons around your neck and it’s squeezing the very life from you. You wake up one day in this pit of blackness and despair that you cannot shake. You don’t see it coming and you don’t know when it will strike.
I thank The Powers That Be that I am feeling as good as I am. I don’t ever want to take this feeling for granted. I want to cling to it, to savor it.
I don’t know how long I will continue to feel this way. It may be the rest of my life! Or I could wake up one day next year and find myself looking up from the bottom of that black pit of despair. Right now, I am grateful that I feel as good as I do and that Thief, depression, has not stolen this part of my life from me!
Copyright (C) 2017 Penny Wilson