Posted in Poetry

Growth-Revised


I can't breathe

I reach for the sunlight
but your presence
cloying 
choking

blocking the light 

your immersion
well intended

my pleas
fall 
on deaf ears 

love
must be nurtured

given nourishment

and room 
to grow

Copyright (C) 2019 Penny Wilson 

*The original version of this was written in 2018. I like the flow
of this version better. I hope you enjoyed it.  
Image by monicore from Pixabay
Posted in Poetry

Falling Star

Burning 
brightly

Resplendent and 
beautiful  

Wings spread 

Flying 
among the celestial   

Caught up 
in a world 

Too fast

Quickly falling 
from grace  
from the heavens 

In a rush 
to grow 
to experience

This falling Star

Flaming briefly 
only to die out 

Extinguished 
all too soon

Copyright (C) 2019 Penny Wilson

 

Posted in Life, Prose

A friend in Need

I don’t usually repost something.  But recently another blogger brought this post of mine back into focus.  It’s a tribute to my Best Friend.

Recently this Best Friend has discovered that with her illness, she will not get any better.  There is nothing else to be done and from here she will just continue to deteriorate.

This little woman that has always been such a positive influence in my life is now struggling to see the positive in her own life.  Her youth is behind her.  The present seems to hold little in the way of joy for her due to her pain.  The future, she sees as only bleak and dark.

I love this woman so much.  I would do almost anything for her because she has always been there for me.   I can’t take away her pain, or find a cure for her illness.  I do my best to “be there” for her and be supportive.  Each day, I try to find something to make her smile.

In light of all this, I feel my tribute to my Best Friend is worth repeating.  See below.  I hope you enjoy.

I originally titled this A Lifetime of Thank Yous.

friends 

How do you say thank you to someone who has always been there for me?  She has been my biggest supporter, my biggest cheerleader, no matter what I wanted to do.  She always had my back.

This little woman is a ball of dynamite.  She is a true lady in every sense of the word, but will cut you down to the stumps like a she-bear protecting her young if you dare hurt anyone she loves.

She is an enigma.  She has been ill off & on most of her life.  She’s been misdiagnosed and was supposed to die several times.  But you cannot keep her down.  She powers on and has proved the doctors wrong over and over again.

The doctors did finally come up with a diagnosis, but that hasn’t stopped her.  Although her condition is degenerative, she keeps on keeping on.

Despite her hardships, which have been many, she is the most positive and optimistic person I have ever met.  She has been the most positive influence in my life.

This woman has seen me at my best and at my worst.  She loves me no matter what.

She’s been there to hold my hand through the hard times and to cheer me on when I try something new.

Through her eyes, I have seen the power of prayer at work and believe; where once I did not.  How can you repay someone for a gift this precious?

We met as young women, not much more than children.  We have seen each other grow, change and age.  We have known each other’s children, loves and siblings.  We have known birth and death in each other’s lives.

Once we had the world at our feet; a lifetime ahead of us.  We laughed at the thought of tomorrow.

The next day, we share stories of our aches, pains and wrinkles.  Where did yesterday go?

Who is she?  “Friend” is not a strong enough word.  She is my Best Friend.  But she is also the Sister I never had.  She’s been confidant, a shoulder to lean on, a hand up, and just someone I could always turn to.  She is also that person that will give it to me straight when I need a good kick in the butt.

A lifetime has passed between us.  I cannot imagine how empty my life would have been without her in it.  I am richer, wiser and a better person because of her.

We have shared births, deaths, marriages, divorce, tears, sorrow, happiness, joy and laughter.   Most of all Joy and Laughter….

To this amazing woman, I say thank you.  Thank you for sharing your life with me.

 

Posted in Stories

Grateful

Fall

Penny was sitting on the front stoop of the shack.  What suffices for her front yard is dirt.  There is a tire swing hanging from a tree branch. It is unmoving in the hot summer air.  She has a large spoon in one hand and a coffee cup in the other.  Up until a few minutes ago, she was playing in the dirt.

She’s about 3 years old, maybe 4.  She has large blue eyes, long lashes and brown hair that cascades in waves and curls to her waist.

Daddy came home a little while ago.  Daddy works in the woods cutting down big trees.  She’s been to where he works.  Her momma took her and her brothers out to Daddy’s work and they all had a picnic one day.  She remembered climbing on a giant tree that was lying on its side.  Her Daddy had to lift her up because even lying on the ground; it was so tall she couldn’t reach the top without help.

Daddy was in the house with Momma.  They were yelling.  So she stayed outside.  She didn’t like it when her Momma and Daddy yelled.

Daddy walked funny when he got home, like he was dizzy.  When he reached down to give her a hug, he smelled bad, sour.  She didn’t like the smell.  She didn’t like it when Daddy smelled sour.  It always meant that he and Momma would fight.

Beside the front stoop was a small cloth doll.  She picked it up and hugged it tight to her.  The doll had blue buttons that Momma had sewn on for eyes, brown yarn for hair, and a pretty blue dress that Momma had made from an old shirt of Daddy’s.   The doll’s name was Tinkerbell.  This was a name that her mother called Penny sometimes.  She loved her Tinkerbell doll.

Penny stood up and strolled to the corner of the house and looked out back.  In the back was an outhouse and beyond that a creek where Momma got water.  Sometimes Daddy or her older brothers would help bring in water if Momma had to do laundry or if it was bath night.

Momma would heat water on the big wood stove in the kitchen and each of them would get a turn in the galvanized wash tub she also used for laundry.  Momma always made sure there was a good fire going in the kitchen so Penny wouldn’t get cold on bath night.  She set the tub on the floor, not too close to the stove and her and Momma would splash and play while she was scrubbed clean.  Then Momma would take her out and rub her down briskly with a towel, tickling her and making her laugh.

Penny was thinking about bath night as she heard the front door open and slam shut.  She looked toward the front yard and Daddy got in his truck and pulled away fast, leaving a cloud of dust behind.

Penny walked in the back door.  Momma was sitting at the picnic table in the kitchen that served as a dining room table.  Her face and eyes were red.

Penny walked over and laid her head on her mother’s shoulder.  Her mother turned and looked down at Penny and said, “It’s alright Tinkerbell” and took her in her arms, giving her a big hug.

About that time, the front door burst open.  Her 3 brothers were home.  They had been out playing in the woods.  Penny tore away from her mother and rushed into the main room of the house to greet her brothers.

The main room of the shack had a large fire place and several beds.  This is where they all slept.  There was little else in the shack other than some boxes in the corner that served as dressers for clothing and Daddy’s tools.

The boys, David, Bruce and Roy were all jabbering excitedly.  Momma walked in to see what the commotion was all about.

The boys pulled her outside and just beyond the front stoop was a bobcat, dead, that they had drug home.

The boys had grown up in the woods.  The 2 older ones in their teens, never left the property without their bows and arrows.  They had spotted this bobcat in the tree along a trail they frequented and Bruce took it down with one clean shot from his bow.

Penny didn’t understand what the fuss was all about.  What she saw was a big kitty, a pretty kitty, that was dead.

They all went into the house and Momma stirred the pot of beans on the stove while the boys went out back to wash up before dinner.

Penny loved it when her brothers were home.  They all sat down to big helpings of beans and delicious cornbread that Momma had cooked in her cast iron skillet in the wood stove.

Penny looked around her.  She smiled.  She was loved and she knew it.  This would be another evening without Daddy, but he would there in the morning when she woke up.

Penny bolted awake.  Shaking her head, she tried to clear the images from her mind.  They clung tightly, like cobwebs you can’t see.

Why, at 56 years of age, would she be dreaming of that time so long ago?  She swung her feet over the side of the bed.  She looked around her.  She loved her cozy home in the city.  She had a good life here.

Most people think they are a product of their environment; Penny liked to think she was a product IN SPITE of hers.  She had come so very far.  She thought her mother would be proud.

Sitting on the patio, gazing at the skyline and sipping her morning coffee, Penny reflected on her life.  Despite her humble beginnings, she had worked hard, always learning.  She knew that knowledge had power and it would move her forward in life.

She was not rich by any stretch of the imagination, but she wasn’t poor either.  She had a comfortable home, most creature comforts her mother never had, like air conditioning and a washing machine….  Such simple things, to most of us, that were light years away for her mother.  She shook her head, marveling at the things most people take for granted.

Some people called her “Penny Pincher”, because even today, she was very frugal.  In her past she had to be.  Now it was just a way of life.

A thought occurred to her.  She had been on the phone with her brother David and had been reminiscing about their childhood.  That must have prompted the dream.

The road had been difficult.  From the shack in the NW woods, to migrant life on the road with her family; her life seemed like a movie or novel she had read rather than something she actually lived.

She stood, stretched and yawned.  She thought she would pour herself a 2nd  cup of coffee and just enjoy the morning.  Her cat, Otis wound his way around her legs as she fixed her coffee.  She picked him up and held him tight.  Penny looked into those amazing green eyes and said “Otis, you and I are very lucky indeed!”

Although not a religious person, Penny did believe in a Higher Power.  She took her coffee cup back out to the patio and set about giving thanks for the little wonders in her world.  Electricity, running water, a warm, comfortable home…..

 

Beautiful picture found on Unsplash by Aaron Burden

 

 

Posted in Life, Prose

A Lifetime Of Thank Yous

friends 

How do you say thank you to someone who has always been there for you?  She has been my biggest supporter, my biggest cheerleader, no matter what I wanted to do.  She’s always had my back.

This little woman is a ball of dynamite.  She is a true lady in every sense of the word, but will cut you down to the stumps like a she-bear protecting her young if you dare hurt anyone she loves.

She is an enigma.  She has been ill off & on most of her life.  She’s been misdiagnosed and was supposed to die several times.  But you cannot keep her down.  She powers on and has proved the doctors wrong over and over again.

The doctors did finally come up with a diagnosis, but that hasn’t stopped her.  Although her condition is degenerative, she keeps on keeping on.

Despite her hardships, which have been many, she is the most positive and optimistic person I have ever met.  She has been the most positive influence in my life.

This woman has seen me at my best and at my worst.  She loves me no matter what.

She’s been there to hold my hand through the hard times and to cheer me on when I try something new.

Through her eyes, I have seen the power of prayer at work and now believe; where once I did not.  How can you repay someone for a gift this precious?

We met as young women, not much more than children.  We have seen each other grow, change and age.  We have known each other’s children, loves and siblings.  We have known birth and death in each other’s lives.

Once we had the world at our feet; a lifetime ahead of us.  We laughed at the thought of tomorrow.

The next day, we share stories of our aches, pains and wrinkles.  Where did yesterday go?

Who is she?  “Friend” is not a strong enough word.  She is my Best Friend.  But she is also the Sister I never had.  She’s been confidant, a shoulder to lean on, a hand up, and just someone I could always turn to.  She is also that person that will give it to me straight when I need a good kick in the butt.

A lifetime has passed between us.  I cannot imagine how empty my life would have been without her in it.  I am richer, wiser and a better person because of her.

We have shared births, deaths, marriages, divorce, tears, sorrow, happiness, joy and laughter.   Most of all Joy and Laughter….

To this amazing woman, I say thank you.  Thank you for sharing your life with me.

Copyright (C) Penny Wilson