Posted in Life, Stories

My Body Has Betrayed Me!

Posted on by Penny Wilson Writes

At what point did my body start betraying me?

I used to be able to party until dawn, get home just in time to shower, change my clothes and go to work.  Yeah, I’d be hung over as hell, but I could do it!

Now, I wouldn’t dream of doing such a thing!

I get pissy if someone wants to have a “late” meeting or dinner, say, 8 or 9pm?   I’d think, “What the hell?  I’m on my way to a bubble bath and my comfy jammies by then!”

If I have a few too many cocktails with the girls, I suffer for 2 or 3 days; dragging ass, headache, etc.

What happened to that care-free party girl I was when I was in my 20’s?

I stumble to the bathroom mirror in the morning and groggily look at my reflection.  What I think in my mind’s eye, is not what is looking back at me!  Who is that old woman I see standing in my backwards-looking bathroom?

Upon closer inspection of the face looking back at me, are there really more lines around the eyes today than there was yesterday?  Sigh… it does indeed appear to be so.

And what the hell is with those brown spots?  They call them “Sun spots”.  Now just because I used to cover myself in baby oil and cook my skin to a crisp doesn’t mean I should have these damned spots now, does it?

And then there’s my hair……  I used to color my hair for fun, trying different shades of red or brown; I’ve even been a blonde once.  Now…  I’m guessing I’m about 50% grey.  Men can have a bit of grey around the edges and it’s sexy; not so with women.  My white “fringe” is getting more and more pronounced all the time.

I’ve come to appreciate mellow music.  I now like (gasp!) Country music, I also like a lot of the stuff that was put out in the 40’s and 50’s.  Singers like Etta James, Nat King Cole and others like them.  I can now enjoy blues and smooth jazz is nice too.

Janis Joplin, please forgive me, but I just can’t bring myself to listen to your music anymore!  Have my ears become more sensitive?

Living alone and aging has its own challenges.  You have to be creative about opening that pickle jar or rearranging the furniture.  I have to seriously think about doing the Heimlich maneuver on myself if I choke on one of my many damned pills I seem to have to take every day now.   And perish the thought of climbing a ladder alone.  There would be no one there to pick up the pieces if I fell off!

My God, when the hell did we all start taking supplements for everything?   When I was a kid, my mother refused to buy vitamins, because she said we got all the vitamins we needed from the food we ate.  Now I take an aspirin a day, just in case I have a heart attack.  I take glucosamine to stave off arthritis, which runs in my family.  I take fish oil for my brain.  No one wants Alzheimer’s!  I also take a daily vitamin in case the food I eat won’t do.

In my mind’s eye, I still see a vibrant 30-something woman, instead of one that is over 60.  My brain still tries to tell me that “yes you can still dance all night…if you had the notion to.”  But my body has betrayed me.   My feet are screaming for me to take off those beautiful, but painful high heels.  My head is splitting from the too too loud music.  And all I really want, is to be snuggled up on my couch with my feet up on the coffee table relaxing with a mind numbing episode of Survivor.

The aches and pains are a little more noticeable these days and the lines on my face a bit easier to see.

So if you are out one night tearing up the town and an older woman is sitting at her table with her shoes off, just smile.   She may be out to prove a point to herself or to relive a memory.  Either way, when she carries her shoes and herself home, barefoot, she will have just a few more smile lines to share.

Copyright (C) 2022 Penny Wilson

*The above is slightly revised from its 2014’s original version

Author:

Penny Wilson is an international writer who writes in several genres. She has written articles for WOW Women on Writing. Her poetry has been published in online journals, such as Ariel Chart, Spill Words Press and the Poppy Road Review. Penny is a member of the Austin Poetry Society. Her poetry has been featured in the publication America's Emerging Poets 2018 & 2019 by Z Publishing and Poets Quarterly and Dual Coast Magazine published by Prolific Press. Most recently, you can find her poetry in an anthology by WordCrafter Press called Poetry Treasures. Penny is an advocate for Mental Health Awareness and has the page "Mental Health Help" on her blog. She writes about the struggles of mental illnesses and Depression. She is passionate about spreading awareness for Suicide Prevention and Domestic Abuse. She expresses her passion through her writings of poetry and life experiences. You can find more of her writings on her blog at https://pennywilsonwrites.com/

24 thoughts on “My Body Has Betrayed Me!”

  5. Me too dear Penny. The Army gave me 11 anthrax shots and I lost part of my memory. I do the vitamins and I read non-stop to keep my brain going. Bad part. My short-term memory is bad. But I decided to join the Army. It is my fault. Other parts getting slower and older.

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  6. Pingback: My Body Has Betrayed Me! | A Little TOO Picture Imperfect

  8. I feel the same way Penny. My party days are long over and though I still listen to thrash metal bands such as Slayer, I find my musical tastes have gone a bit more melodic in my old age. The final realization came not long ago when I played in a softball tournament. Balls got past me which only a few years ago, I would have got my glove on them and made a play. You’re so right, getting old sucks!

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  9. I can relate to so much here, thank you! Well said. I’m not quite 60 yet, but not far behind…. Amanda

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  10. Some of this to me is more of a maturity than ‘old age’…. maybe a more positive spin on it? I think my music has matured. I still like my 80’s but give me the mellow and older tunes when I want to relax. And bedtime is just bedtime honoring my body instead of being crazy with it having dinner at 9pm. My body would never forgive me for that one… well, not without a LOT of detox and dragging days first. LOL I don’t think your body is betraying you…. it’s just asking for some extra care. I encourage you not to let these things bring you down but wrap yourself up in something warm and be thankful your body knows what it needs 🙂 And don’t forget, lines come from laugher too…. could be signs of a wonderful life !

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    1. You’re so right. I wrote the original version of this several years ago. Since then, I don’t mind the thought of getting older. I have also begun to be kinder to myself, my body. Thank you for visiting and thanks for the comment! ❤

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  11. Oh how I can relate!! Lol it reminds of a poem I wrote once, I’ll have to dig it out! My mind is stuck at 45 but my body is on a downhill slide all on its own! Lol 😆 loved it!

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