I've knocked my head against the wall until I bleed. This is what it took to get my attention. I seemed to take the hard way, the road less traveled. I've started my life over again many, many times. Started from scratch. From nothing. Each time a little further along this Crooked Path. I began as a lump of clay, cast into the mud along with the rest of the muck. I managed to crawl upon the shore and bake myself in the sun until I was cracked and bleeding. This is a process I repeated over and over again. I would then retreat back into the muck seeking the cool mud to soothe, only to realize that I must push myself up and out. At last, finding myself on the path, head up, shoulders back, I trudged forward tentatively, turning left when I should have turned right. Backing up and taking a different turn at times, but always the way that I wanted. Not what was best. But what I wanted. I knew that the outcome would be the same. Finally, one day as I was sitting in the mud once again, I bowed my head. I had prayed many times, but not like this. I prayed, not to be lead to the right path. Not to be helped from the mud. I prayed instead to see; see the hand that had always been there. The arms that had always welcomed me. I prayed for faith. Copyright (C) 2020 Penny Wilson My path to God has been a very long one. I came to Him late in life. This is my expression of that journey. I still struggle, but my prayers have been answered tenfold. A very special Thank You to Chuck, at The Reluctant Poet. He gave me the line, 'The Crooked Path' that inspired this piece. Thank you for joining me on this journey. Penny <3
If you would like to see my submission on his blog, you can find it here:
Thank you! Penny
There is a Kenny Chesney song called “You and Tequila”. There is One Line in that song that gets me every time I hear it. It goes “It’s always your favorite sins that do you in”. Wow…
My favorite sins.
Being a Responsible Adult is still a challenge at times. I still struggle.
I have very few vices left. I quit smoking. I drink only on rare occasions. I don’t scour the bars looking for men. The drugs I did in my youth are just a distant memory.
The “hardest” thing I partake of now is a strong cup of coffee. The doctors have tried to take that away from me too. I’ve cut down, but it’s not completely gone.
Pleasures of the Flesh are still a favorite sin, not easily dismissed.
Another song comes to mind by Tim Mcgraw. The song is called “Better Than I Used to Be”. The line goes “I still got a few more dances with the devil”.
In general, I’m pretty happy with how Penny turned out. But oh, those Favorite Sins.
My dragons burrow deep and sleep the sleep of the evil. They lie in wait. They make sure I have my defenses down; that I am once again comfortable in my own skin.
My peripheral vision sees the shadow of these beasts occasionally as they melt into the background. I try as I might to catch them before they are loose, but they are too clever.
These dragons will creep into my room and sit at the foot of my bed, watching as I slumber. I have fooled them only once; feigning sleep as their fowl breath assaults my senses. The stench of their evil is almost overwhelming.
I have awakened on many moonless nights, sure I would see them. My heart is in my throat as I sweep the room. I must be sure to catch them if they linger. All that lingers is the cold sweat that penetrates my gown and their stench.
My hands shake as I toss my gown to the floor. Sliding back into bed, I stare at the ceiling. Sleep will elude me this night, for the dragons have already started their assault.
With the dawn, I greet the day with trepidation. How will the dragons manifest this time? Will I find myself once again in the dark? Alone with my dragons, with nothing more than hope to see me way back into the light.
As I lock the front door and walk down the street, I can feel the dragons’ breath on my neck….
Amazing image found on Google Images. Credit to the wonderful artist that created it.
(C) 2014 Penny Wilson