But one day you’ll meet the girl you swore you’d never find
Start feeling things you never felt and spending all your time
Trying to figure out how she got this hold on you
And when you start to fall, you’ll hold onto your pride
Start building up your walls and ever let her get inside
You’ll push her away ’cause that’s all you know how to do
And then she’ll leave and you won’t beg her not to go
Ask me how I know
Partial song lyrics, Ask Me How I Know written by-Mitch Rossell, sung by Garth Brooks
in slow motion
to shake off the
Continue reading “Futile”
I feel the descent. I’m teetering on the edge of the abyss. Falling. Yet, grasping the rim. Holding on to the light.
I feel as if I’ve been kicked in the chest. The pain is palatable. Heavy, so very heavy. Head in hands. Sleep, blessed sleep. Dream away the darkness that steals the light and penetrates the soul.
The demons. They steal into my room to close the blinds and bolt the doors; hiding me from reality. They whisk me away into the night to feed on my will; my strength. Just out of reach is the sunlight that warms me.
Do I have the strength this time?
Copyright (C) 2018 Penny Wilson
*Don’t worry my friends, I’m fine, just in a foul mood.
Sorting through that bookshelf, all I intended to do was to gather a few books to donate when I saw it. The Box of Memories. The box was something that I had found in an antique store. The box had been carefully hand made and at one time was someone’s treasure. It was battered and aged, but had it’s own beauty and I had to have it.
I pulled the box down and wiped the dust off the top. After opening the lid, I lifted an old photo out of the box and looked at it. It was curled and yellow with age. I couldn’t remember the last time that I looked through The Box of Memories. Years. The picture of my oldest brother, taken just after High School. He was ready to take on the world. A slight smile played at the corners of his mouth. He looked out past the camera lens at something in the distance. What was it that made him smile?
Continue reading “Box of Memories”
I’ve heard people say things like “Oh, she’s just depressed”. Just?
Most people, unless they’ve been there, have no idea what depression is really all about. Most people use the word Sad.
It’s not really sad. But yeah, sometimes it is. It’a hollow, hopeless, emptiness, that consumes you. Your world is black and bleak. Nothing matters.
You could be expecting your first grandchild, or your son’s dream of attending Yale just came true, it doesn’t matter. You put on a brave face, smile and act the part, but inside, you are barely functioning.
This is depression.
Continue reading “No Shame”