My mind's eye still holds you in an embrace I knew there would be a price A penalty, for loving you I didn't know, how long that penalty would last A lifetime, my beloved and beyond Copyright (C) 2023 Penny Wilson All Rights Reserved *Name Your Number writing Challenge Post #1 of my #Name Your Number Writing Challenge. Only 21 more to go! :)
As the end of the year approaches, we all tend to reflect on what has happened over the course of the year. I want to go back a little further than that.
In May of 2017, I came out of a several-years-long depression. I remember it so clearly. It was like a veil had been lifted and I was seeing the world for the first time.
With this in mind, I looked back at my stats for the last couple of year here on WordPress.
In 2017 there was a good-sized spike in my activity here. That new enthusiasm to write was due to the “awakening” from my depression.
My Most Viewed post of all time has been one I titled Depression-A-Killer. That tells me that there is still a HUGE need for enlightenment, awareness and information. The stigma remains, but I do think that the battle to end it is making progress.
Why do I write about Depression? EVERY DAY 121 Americans commit suicide. 50% of those people suffered from depression. Reason enough? I thought so too. If you need help -The Suicide Prevention Hotline, available 24/7 is 1-800-273-8255 Is talking to someone too much for you? It was for me at times. There is a Crisis Text Line. Text 741741 and you can text with a counselor.
The one thing in my life that I am most thankful for is the end of my depression. Depression took so much from me, it feels amazing to have my life back. I’m happier than I’ve ever been and my life is full and rich. I have many, many blessings.
As you can see this is a subject that is important to me. 🙂 ❤
As we go into a new year, I want to thank all of you that have joined me on this up and down journey. I hope that each of you are blessed with every happiness your heart could desire.
Please check out my page on Mental Health Help HERE.
*Update from 2023
The post above was originally written in 2018. My depression is thankfully in check. I cherish each day that I am free from that darkness. At the end of 2021, I did have a period of time where my Depression and Anxiety peaked. But early into 2022, that had once again abated. My life is rich, full and so very blessed.
It was me that ended it.
I’m the one that turned my back.
The knowledge of your love; overwhelmed.
The fear of mine; crippling.
To give away my safeguarded heart;
The lies began. I said it was for the best.
That we would never last.
I blanketed myself with the
comfort of these lies.
All the time knowing, that I was walking away
from something rare.
I turned away from love
for the security, the isolation,
of a protected
Copyright (C) 2022 Penny Wilson All Rights Reserved
*This is a quote that my BFF gave to me years ago. I’ve always treasured it and I keep it on my fridge with a magnet. Once in a while I will remember to stop and read it. Every time I do this, it stops me in my tracks. A wonderful and beautiful sentiment. I want to share this beautiful wish with you. May your life always be as blessed.
These Are My Wishes For You–
“May you find serenity and tranquility in a world you may not always understand.
May a kind word, a reassuring touch, and a warm smile be yours every day of your life, and may you give these gifts as well as receive them.
May you find time in each day to see the beauty and love in the world around you.
May you find enough inner strength to determine your own worth by yourself, and not be dependent on other’s judgement of your accomplishments.
May you always feel loved.”
You loved me, once. I loved you too. We thought our story would be different. We would beat the odds, we were sure. First we lied to ourselves, that it wouldn't happen to us. Then we lied to each other, pretending everything was alright. Finally, we lied to the world, putting on the masks. Somewhere between the lies is where my heart lived. Copyright (C) 2022 Penny Wilson All Rights Reserved