Posted in depression, mental illness

No Shame

 

I’ve heard people say things like “Oh, she’s just depressed”.  Just?

Most people, unless they’ve been there, have no idea what depression is really all about.  Most people use the word Sad.

It’s not really sad.  But yeah, sometimes it is.  It’a hollow, hopeless, emptiness, that consumes you.  Your world is black and bleak.  Nothing matters.

You could be expecting your first grandchild, or your son’s dream of attending Yale just came true, it doesn’t matter.  You put on a brave face, smile and act the part, but inside, you are barely functioning.

This is depression.

I’ve had times when all I wanted to do is sleep.  Because when you sleep, the world goes away.  You don’t have to deal with… anything.  Even if all that means is making dinner, or taking a shower, or driving to the store; it’s all just too much.

What you are feeling inside is an incredible darkness.  A hopelessness and helplessness.  You also feel worthless, defeated, unworthy and shameful.  So you hide.  You hide your symptoms.

This is why Depression is such a serious thing.  It can be a deadly thing.  When Everything is too much to deal with, what’s the alternative?

If you know someone that sleeps too much or isolates themselves, please reach out to them.  If they have stopped their normal pursuits, the things that used to make them happy, pay attention!  Just knowing that there is someone who understands can be a great comfort.

If you have these types of feelings, talk to someone.  Anyone.  Talk to your doctor or a friend or a counselor.  There is help out there.  There is No Shame in what you are feeling.

There is such a stigma attached to depression.  People have swept it under the rug or they dismiss it as something trivial.  It’s Not trivial folks!

Think about Robin Williams, Kurt Cobain, Mindy McCready, the list is a long one.

It’s real folks.  Don’t be afraid to start a conversation about it.

Please visit my Mental Health Help page HERE for more information and helpful resources for where you can find help.  The suicide prevention helpline is 988. 

Copyright (C) 9/1/17 Penny Wilson

Author:

Penny Wilson is an international writer who writes in several genres. She has written articles for WOW Women on Writing. Her poetry has been published in online journals, such as Ariel Chart, Spill Words Press and the Poppy Road Review. Penny is a member of the Austin Poetry Society. Her poetry has been featured in the publication America's Emerging Poets 2018 & 2019 by Z Publishing and Poets Quarterly and Dual Coast Magazine published by Prolific Press. Most recently, you can find her poetry in an anthology by WordCrafter Press called Poetry Treasures. Penny is an advocate for Mental Health Awareness and has the page "Mental Health Help" on her blog. She writes about the struggles of mental illnesses and Depression. She is passionate about spreading awareness for Suicide Prevention and Domestic Abuse. She expresses her passion through her writings of poetry and life experiences. You can find more of her writings on her blog at https://pennywilsonwrites.com/

27 thoughts on “No Shame

  1. Thanks for this informational post! Many years ago I had depression, and I still get it once in a while when I’m having PMS (or rather, its more severe form PMDD). The feeling is exactly as you described; during those hard days it felt as though I was a being sculpted from clay and my creator forgot to put in a heart, so I could feel nothing. All my usual hobbies weren’t fun, things that usually bring joy didn’t, things that can be effortlessly done took too much effort, and all the things that had to be done periodically – like having to eat because of hunger – was irritating. Basically, it sucks. 😅

    Luckily for me, all I need to do is pass the time quietly and it usually goes away in a day or two. 🙂

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  2. I appreciate this precise definition of depression as I have been a support for a loved one dealing with major depression. You write about it in understandable terms. Thank you.

    I wish you the best as you continue to heal. It sounds like you are doing everything you can to help yourself fight this illness. That is admirable.

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  3. Penny, I can’t thank you enough for posting this. Over the past few years I have felt exactly as you described. Nothing matters. Luckily for me, it’s not constant 24/7. There were some weeks when it was like that, but now it just hits me in waves. I have a psychologist and psychiatrist, but I feel so badly for people who don’t have that type of support group.

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  4. Powerful post Penny. So truthful and heartfelt written. You have brought a touch of reality to a sickness, disease that isn’t easy to talk about much less admit or accept it. Thank you my dear friend.

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  5. Great post. There is a stigma attached to mental illness in general. It’s invisible and not easy to understand if you aren’t affected. And depression is hard because we all get depressed, we just don’t all suffer from depression.

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    1. There’s not always a clear reason. It’s a mental illness. My doctor described it as a bad connection in the brain. Like the wires are wired wrong. Sometimes medication can help. Sometimes its counseling that’s best. Thank you for looking in on me Mohamad and thank you for your comment.

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